At the age of 32, Selena Gomez is one of the most famous female singers in the world, owning a series of hit songs, the Rare Beauty cosmetics brand that has caused a stir in the beauty community, and an Instagram channel with more than 424 million followers, helping her become the most followed woman on Instagram to date. To achieve her current success, she has overcome many difficulties and challenges. Selena Gomez is not afraid to share with her fans her weak moments, the moments when she wanted to give up everything.

In 2015, Selena Gomez discovered she had lupus – an autoimmune disease that causes the body to produce antibodies that attack the tissues of its organs, which can cause damage and pain to any healthy organ. After a kidney transplant and chemotherapy to treat lupus, in 2018, the Same Old Love hitmaker was diagnosed with bipolar disorder – a mental disorder marked by mood swings and behavioral changes, with periods of mania and depression alternating.

Facing these difficulties, the female singer has found effective secrets to take care of her mental health. Let’s learn with ELLE 8 lessons to help us improve our mental health from Selena Gomez below.

Speaking to Vanity Fair , Zoe Saldaña, Selena’s co-star in the film Emilia Pérez, which was released this year, said that Selena is not the type of person who only likes to talk about herself or thinks that she is the center of the universe . On the contrary, according to her co-star, she is very emotional: “She will show you 300 pictures of her sister, her parents, and her grandparents.”

Expressing positive emotions to friends and relatives through words and actions not only helps them feel appreciated, loved, and strengthens good relationships, but also contributes to improving your physical and mental health such as reducing stress, strengthening the immune system and enhancing brain function. Instead of hiding your emotions in your heart, spend more time caring for the people around you and learn how to express your feelings sincerely. It can be words of love that you have not had the opportunity to send to your relatives, a handwritten letter to a friend far away or simply a warm hug. These small gestures will bring you and those around you great positive energy.
As the most followed woman on Instagram to date, Selena Gomez has always tried to build a habit of limiting the time spent on electronic devices to limit the negative effects of social networks. However, the Instagram queen does not always adhere to the principles and habits she has set, and she accepts that, instead of seeing it as pressure or failure .

We have all experienced things that go wrong in life, such as not being able to complete a fitness goal, only reading half of a book and then giving up, or failing a job interview. However, if we keep thinking about our failures or constantly blaming ourselves for things that do not go as expected, we will be immersed in negative emotions, stagnation, making us gradually feel inferior and lose motivation to live. Therefore, instead of accepting failure with an extreme attitude, allow yourself to be wrong, and learn to accept, tolerate, and be patient with yourself. At the same time, you should set realistic expectations for yourself that are appropriate to your current abilities, instead of rushing out of your comfort zone when you are not yet competent enough.

Sharing about her love story with music producer Benny Blanco, Selena Gomez said: “I have never felt so loved. He is my light, my best friend. I always want to talk to him and share everything in the world with him .” The singer also shared about her friendship with Taylor Swift – a long-time close friend who is always willing to help when she needs advice about her career and life.

A colleague who secretly takes advantage of you, a friend who constantly manipulates you, or a narcissistic , inconsiderate boyfriend… are typical toxic people in life. In the long run, these relationships will drain your energy, make you doubt yourself and lose your confidence because you are always being manipulated and taken advantage of. On the contrary, nurturing healthy relationships with people who always care, trust and respect you will help you feel listened to, understood and loved, thereby significantly improving your mental and physical health, which is the foundation for comprehensive development and improving the quality of life. Therefore, instead of clinging and regretting, get rid of toxic relationships and build healthy, quality connections to stay strong and confident.

Before her romance with Benny, Selena Gomez had planned to start a family at the age of 35. However, due to many health problems, she was no longer able to conceive. “This is completely different from what I always expected. I thought I would be able to get pregnant and become a mother like most other normal women. So I was sad about it for a while. But now, I have learned to accept the truth,” Selena said.

Facing life events such as losing a loved one, being deceived by someone you trust, or having to give up a career you have worked hard to build for many years… is never easy. Faced with such unwanted changes, we will inevitably feel helpless, hurt, and want to give up everything. Instead of denying, suppressing, or forever indulging in those emotions, you should learn to accept the things you cannot control and stop blaming yourself. Give yourself more time to accept reality, don’t be too harsh, but cultivate compassion for yourself. That is the key to help you overcome the pain of loss in life.

In the documentary My Mind & Me, released in 2022, Selena Gomez did not hesitate to show many sides of herself. From a singer with a lot of energy and radiance on stage, she gradually revealed about her panic attacks, depression and severe psychological struggles. In a recent interview with Vanity Fair , the singer said: “We don’t have to be ashamed, hide our weak and vulnerable sides. I’m not perfect, I can’t get pregnant and I have bipolar disorder. But I don’t try to be someone else, I accept myself. I’m a little sad and disappointed that many people call me a victim, because weakness is also a kind of strength. I’m just a person who has overcome many challenges in life.”

Many people think that weakness and vulnerability are weaknesses that make us vulnerable to the storms of life. However, weakness is sometimes the starting point of connection, empathy and love. In addition, according to American psychologist Brené Brown: “When we try to avoid hurt, we are unintentionally distancing ourselves from experiences that help us feel the purpose and meaning of life” . Experiencing hurt not only helps us understand ourselves better, but is also an opportunity to learn, grow and become stronger after falling. At the same time, moments of weakness and hurt will help us appreciate sincere people, relationships that are always ready to be by our side to help us in all circumstances of life. Therefore, when faced with difficulties and challenges, allow yourself to be weak, while cultivating gentleness, empathy and tolerance so that people around you always feel comforted and loved.

After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression in 2018, Selena Gomez found many ways to improve her mental health effectively. In an interview with Vanity Fair , the singer said that she uses heat as a special healing mechanism, such as taking cold baths or enjoying the warmth of a heater, which can significantly improve her mood.

In fact, taking a cold shower not only helps the body recover muscles and increase immunity, but is also an effective stress-relieving therapy by stimulating the sympathetic nervous system, increasing the secretion of noradrenaline and endorphins – neurotransmitters that have a positive effect on mood. In addition, heat therapy such as sauna will reduce cortisol – a hormone that regulates stress levels, while causing the body to secrete more endorphins, helping us feel relaxed and comfortable.

Selena Gomez told Vanity Fair that she often uses self-talk to keep herself motivated. “I often remind myself that I’m okay. Sometimes I interrupt my train of thought and pause everything to make sure that I’m still in the office, that my loved ones are still out there, that I can eat something and take a nap before continuing to work . ”

Regularly monitoring our body and mind is an important key to help us ensure our health and reduce mental stress. In addition, using positive affirmations , meditation and yoga will help us focus on the present moment, reducing anxiety and excessive fear of future prospects. Therefore, spend more time caring for yourself, and actively practice the above habits to improve your mental health and improve your quality of life.

Photo: Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez shared: “I want people to understand that I always appreciate and am grateful for what I have .” Expressing gratitude is a way to help you look at life more positively, strengthen your inner strength when facing adversity, and help you focus more on the precious moments in the present, instead of thinking about the incomplete things in the past. Practicing gratitude is also a way for you to always cherish the good relationships around you.

According to psychology professor Robert Emmons, there are two main components to practicing gratitude : appreciating what you have and acknowledging the help of others to achieve good things in life. Therefore, do not hesitate to express sincere gratitude to the other person so that they can feel the joy, happiness and appreciation you have for them, thereby strengthening the relationship to become stronger and healthier, helping to improve the spirit and enhance the quality of life.